Category: Series

Posted on

The Losing Game – Part 3

Disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist. The following account is my journey of weight loss. It is not necessary that this should work for everyone. Please consult your medical professional / nutritionist for specifics regarding what diet would suit you.

Thus came along Jan 20. After a carefully rationalized lunch at Saravanaa and the last minute shopping of chocolates to be delivered to my teams in Colombo and Hyderabad I was back home, to pack for this 2.5 week trip.

After supper, I was ready to leave to the airport. My mind was a smorgasbord of questions on how I was going to manage my weight. I was an Endomorph, waiting to add kilos. I had to conquer this trip, absolutely by conditioning my brain and thereby my body.

As a part of my diet plan, one thing was clear – I had to burn more calories than what I consumed to ensure I lost weight. If there was no opportunity to burn calories, I had to reduce the calories consumed, without compromising on the minimum calories required for a person to be healthy. Also, I had to ensure that my diet was balanced – 25% Carbs, 40% Protein and 35% good Fat.

I had started analyzing the calories in each of the common food items that I consumed, particularly, the East Indian plethora of food. For example 1 normal sized homemade idly packed 40 calories; 1 normal sized homemade dosa had 35 calories; 1 small roti 25 calories. A cup of rice (4 spoonful) had 220 calories; a small bowl of daal 170 calories; 1 large egg white 17 calories; I cup of yogurt 200 calories; 1 aappam 45 calories; vada and poori was a big no-no.

This knowledge of calories had to be combined with how much protein and good fat was in the food for carbohydrates alone did not have any nutritional value.

With this basic information, while in the flight I started charting out a plan for the weeks outside home. Of course, in the flight I had no option but to eat what was served. I ate the fruits, small portion of rice and daal. I avoided the desert. I had to spend 13 hours at the HK airport as a layover before I could board the flight to Colombo. In the lounge, where all food was free, I selected the steamed vegetables and bread made out of whole wheat or multi-grains. I did not have any juices as none of them were fresh and were loaded with sugar.

In Colombo, I had the buffet option for breakfast. I carefully selected my meal – 1 dosa (small), 1 aappam, 1 cup of fresh juice (pineapple, cucumber & carrot with no additional sugar) and 1 small cup of yogurt with nuts (almonds, cashews, walnuts and coconut). This was a real sumptuous breakfast that kept me full for a long time that my intake during lunch was controlled. I continued with the same every morning while in Colombo.

The lunch was served at our meeting site. Again, I chose 4 spoons of red rice, with daal gravy and the vegetables in the menu. Dinner was Roti with vegetables or 3 spoons of rice with vegetables. Of course there were a couple of burger dinners with colleagues. You would notice that I tried to balance it all out – have fun in the company of people while ensuring I eat right.

As I had forgotten to pack my swimming trunks in my baggage, I missed out on swimming. Though I didn’t swim, I had no regrets, as I was always worrying about the quality of the water in those pools (no matter even if I were staying in Cinnamon Grand, one of the best hotels in Colombo). And while swimming, I would invariably ingest a few gulps.

Ergo, my exercise in Colombo was the walk along the sea wall, enjoying the sound of the waves hitting the shore, the street vendors selling fish, cotton candy and various snacks. And, the view of the Chinese company that was defining a new coast line, by reclaiming the land from the sea on one side and the tall buildings that housed the various multinational chain hotels – Shangri La, Hilton, etc.

In Hyderabad, though I had the opportunity to get egg whites, I did not try raw egg white, as I didn’t want to be sick. In fact I was not having raw vegetables during the entire trip, as that was one of the main reasons for having Delhi Belly.

Hyderabad was more difficult when it came to diet, for there was so much rich food available there. Even though the quantity was rationalized, each morsel was loaded with calories. And there was sugar freely available. To balance it, I ensured that I walked my 10000 steps each day. And, took the opportunity to hike a nearby hill, in Hyderabad.

My breakfast usually consisted of Dosa / Idly. The lunch constituted of 4 spoonful of rice with lots of lentil gravy and veggies. Dinner was stuffed paratha – I avoided naan and paratha stuffed with potato.

In general, I did not lose out on any good food, and actually enjoyed my regime. It certainly was not very difficult, particularly being a vegetarian and travelling. Finally, when the trip done and I returned to Vancouver, I had gained only 1 kg in 3 weeks. Not bad at all.

My main learning in this trip were

  • Everyone has to be aware of one’s body needs and while on a weight loss program ensure that they are not starving. Starving is an open invitation to add more fat in unwanted places of your body. When you starve, you body thinks you are not going to get food and would trigger the conservation mode. I’m sure you would have all guessed where this conservation was going to show up; yes, the belly and the back first.
  • You can be in a diet and certainly need not kill yourself. You can still enjoy the simple pleasures of life – some great food.
  • As the saying goes “anything in excess is poison”, it is all in the quantity. Eat in right proportion and never stuff yourself.
  • Keep a routine and have food at the right time. Though I had to work the night shift with my team during the travel, I ensured that I was not eating snacks throughout the night. My dinner was usually done by 8:30 pm and I avoided eating anything after that. To energize myself, I had tea. The stomach does need some rest during the night.
  • The one thing that went for a toss was the 7 hours of sleep – I was not able get the 7 hours even if I was willing to spilt it.

When I returned on Feb 5th and weighed myself, I was down by 3 kg from the starting point – 86.5 to 83.5 kg. I had 7 more weeks before when I had to lose another 7 kg to be able to win the challenge, with M. Yes, certainly an uphill daunting task.

The very fact that I was able to manage travelling and actually gain only 1 kg during that time, gave me the confidence that I can do it. I had to be stricter in my regime. I cannot yield to temptations and my diet can do it.

So, what is this diet called?

to continue…

The Losing Game – Part 1

The Losing Game – Part 2

Posted on

The Losing Game – Part 2

Disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist. The following account is my journey of weight loss. It is not necessary that this should work for everyone. Please consult your medical professional / nutritionist for specifics regarding what diet would suit you.

More than the concern of a weight gain, my worry had always been about the challenge. M had said that beginning of April, whether I win or lose, it would be published in our fitness page in Facebook, for public to view. Calling out publicly would be my worst nightmare. Of course if I win, M would also sponsor a dinner.

I was in frenzy because, the weekend of Jan 12, we had gone to visit my cousin in Seattle. Just 1.5 days with them and the rich Indian food that I ate (though I was very careful about the quantity), gained me 1.5 kg, which was not expected in this Losing Game. So, I was aware that I would put on weight, very easily. How was I going to manage the weight increase, particularly when I am touring Colombo and Hyderabad, working the Canadian hours and with few hours of sleep?

As a part of the diet for the weight loss plan, it was suggested that 2 egg whites a day for breakfast would balance the protein requirement, and also would keep the appetite low. But, how was I going to consume egg whites for I don’t eat eggs at all (except in store bought pastries).

I wanted to give egg whites a try, as I wanted to lose this 1.5 kg gain, before I started my trip. I bought the Burnbrae brand “Simply Egg Whites”. Though I searched for the various ways in which I could consume egg whites, I was not convinced about the smell once cooked and if I would be able to eat it at all. The only method that sounded convincing was to mix it raw in a cup of hot milk with 2 teaspoons of honey and drinking it.

The first day (Monday) that I decided to try it out was horrendous. I measured a cup of milk and boiled it with 2 teaspoons of liquid honey. In a cup I poured a quarter cup of egg white and kept it ready. When the milk was lukewarm, I poured it into the egg white. I felt as if I could smell the egg cooking. Closing my eyes and covering my nose, I started pouring the egg white milk directly into my throat.

I did it! And lo and behold, I was not feeling any hunger pangs until 3 pm. Amazing! I was now motivated to try egg white again the next morning.

I had a light lunch and very light supper at about 6:30 pm, followed by 45 minutes of swimming, just as what I had been doing since Jan 2. The next morning when I weighed myself, I saw a reduction of almost 500 grams. That was something that I did not expect. Now, I was convinced to continue with egg white.

The second day, with new enthusiasm and motivation, I did not have difficulty drinking the milk with egg white. I realized that there was absolutely no smell for egg white. The lunch and supper was similar to the previous day and there was another 300 grams lost. This trend continued until that weekend, culminating on Jan 20 when my nightmare began.

Let us now try to understand as to what happened that I gained 1.5 kg, so easily over a day and a half, when I was losing in hundreds of grams, after careful diet and diligent exercise each day.

While talking about weight loss or the desire to lose weight, we need to understand that there are three kinds of body types. We all need to be aware of our body type to be able to gauge what would suit us.

The three body types are Ectomorph, Mesomorph and Endomorph. Though we all have a tendency towards being in one of the three types due to our genetic makeup, our lifestyle also plays a part in how our body will look. Therefore, we can definitely change it over time, if we are determined.

ECTOMORPH
An ectomorph tends to be thin and struggles to gain weight as either body fat or muscle. They can eat loads of food and still stay looking the same, even when gaining muscular weight is their primary goal. They appear skinny and underweight and have a relatively faster metabolism, making addition of fat or muscle very difficult. They are often called hard gainers. They preferentially burn carbohydrates and fats for fuel. Ectomorphs should eat relatively high-carbohydrate diets. Their optimal daily calorie intake should be more than 50% percent carbohydrates, and an almost equal percent of protein and fat.

Characteristics:
Narrow hips and clavicles
Small joints (wrist/ankles)
Thin build
Stringy muscle bellies
Long limbs

MESOMORPH
The mesomorphs are the ideal ones that has the middle-of-the-road build taking the best of both worlds. They have a natural tendency to be fit and muscular. They can easily get back into shape, than the other two types. They appear muscular and athletic and have efficient metabolism. They burn carbohydrates and fats, with a preference for carbohydrates than fatty acids. Mesomorphs should eat a diet predominantly consisting of proteins and fats and less than 50% of carbohydrates.

Characteristics:
Wide clavicles
Narrow waist
Thinner joints
Long and round muscle bellies

ENDOMORPH
The endomorphs, unfortunately, has got the raw end of the stick. They tend to gain weight easily and keep it on. They have good strength, little to no stamina, and average endurance. They may have more muscle than either of the other body types, but they often struggle to gain it without significant amounts of accompanying body fat. They appear to be be overweight and mostly fat, and suffer from water retention issues, couples with a very slow metabolism. They just tend to store carbohydrates and fats. With everything going against them, Endomorphs should minimize empty calorie intake. Their optimal daily calorie intake should be one-quarter of carbohydrates and the rest, protein and good fat.

Characteristics:
Blocky
Thick rib cage
Wide/thicker joints
Hips as wide (or wider) than clavicles
Shorter limbs

As a reference point, South Asians, genetically, tend to be mostly Endomorphs, and I was not an anomaly. Being an Endomorph, myself, I tend to gain weight easily and retain it. No wonder I gained 1.5 kg over the weekend.

And came Jan 21, my hurdle and nightmare, thinking about the horrors of what would happen if I lose this Losing Game! For I was sure, M would certainly publish the results publicly.

to continue…

PC: www.bodybuilding.com

The Losing Game – Part 1

Posted on

The Losing Game – Part 1

2018 had been one of those rare years where I attempted numerous things and actually got hooked on to hiking, much to my surprise. We had done a few hikes as a group through a community group and also individually with a group of friends that included my buddy M.

My passion for hiking increased to such feverish heights that, when M asked me if I would be interested in doing the West Coast Trail (WCT), an 80 km hike in the rugged terrain of Vancouver Island, without batting my eyelid, I said yes.

Maybe, M thought I was just fibbing and was not serious about this strenuous hike. Nevertheless, I started collecting information about this trail and how to actually accomplish this feat.

It was a cold evening in December when I met M at the movie “Possession of Hannah Grace”. While chatting, about various things, slowly the topic changed to WCT hike and this time, I was more knowledgeable. I was able to talk about the trail. As M saw that I was quite serious about WCT, he right away said, I had to consider my health and my weight in particular, if I was seriously considering hiking WCT.

Well, I knew weight was an issue. Though I was doing a lot of hikes, WCT was another beast altogether and I knew that. I had to backpack and actually be able to carry a weight of about 22 kg and hike the terrain. I had already considered that, and still I wanted to do it.

When we met at a common friends house, the next time, before Christmas, WCT invariably came for discussion. I insisted on trying the trail in 2019. Out of nowhere, M challenged me to reduce my weight by about 10 kilos in three months. I accepted without thinking how I was going to do that. My only condition was that I would start in the New Year, as I didn’t want to lose out on eating sumptuous dinners during the holiday season.

Thus the Losing Game began.

After returning home, I started worrying about how I was going to achieve this, particularly with a very hectic schedule, that included travelling. I started Googling and reading a lot of materials. Most of them either talked about strenuous diets or exercises. There was no middle path. Every one of these dieticians was placing restrictions on a lot of food varieties. And me being a vegetarian was not being helpful at all. Adding on, when your staple food is rice, and to top it all, if you have allergies (for chlorine in water), you are literally dead.

So, how was I going to do it? I didn’t want special foods to be prepared at home for each meal, for myself, to cater to my diet. I wanted a more sustainable option. Something that I can follow for a long time, better yet make it my lifestyle.

During one of my researches, I stumbled upon a diet that seemed to be doable. It was not asking me to let go of most of the food items, but asked me to eat them all in the right proportion and only when hungry. Just had to avoid caffeine, deep-fried food, potatoes and sugar – cheating once in a while was allowed. The amount of exercise required was only about 30-45 minutes a day and that too, not vigorous ones. That seemed reasonable and I didn’t bother to check what diet this was.

On Jan 2nd I started this wonderful journey. Also, I started off with swimming in the evenings.

I had a cup of hot water with half a lemon – trying to fool my brain (in vain) that it was coffee.

With no coffee and very less carbs for 2 days, I had started having withdrawal symptoms. By the end of the second day, I had headaches and nausea. My body needed caffeine very badly. Like an addict, I smelt coffee to appease my brain cells. The third and fourth days were the worst. I was very irritable and my brain was not functioning properly. My brain said that I had to drink a large Starbucks mug of coffee and eat a large scoop of ice cream with potato fries.

However, I didn’t want to give up. I had to fight. I resisted. After all, at the end of it, this game was for my benefit.

Lo and behold, by the fifth day, I started seeing my weight decrease. The weighing machine showed a kilo less. That certainly was a huge motivation. By the time it was a week, I started getting used to no coffee and less carbs. From then on, I noticed that I was losing more than a kilo per week. I lost 4 kg by Jan 20. As a treat for myself, as a family we had a sumptuous meal at Saravanaa Bhavan (and I cheated).

What an awesome feeling it was to feel lighter! However, nobody (including my best half) actually noticed my weight loss, which was disheartening. I did not lose hope though, and comforted myself that people would start noticing soon.

Jan 21st, I hit the first obstacle.

to continue…

Posted on

Once Again…???!!! – Chapter 4: the Deliberation – 1

Disclaimer: The characters in this novella are purely fictional. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

It was when the first rays of the sun fell on Kiran’s face that he woke up. He was still on the rocking chair in his bedroom. Kiran was not sure as to when he fell asleep, the previous night, looking at Swati sleeping and his mind wandering into the events of the past.

He rubbed his eyes and squinted to ward off the excess light hitting is eyes and strained to see the big wall clock. It was only 6:30 am. He could sleep for another 30 minutes. Then, slowly, his eyes moved to the bed. Swati was not there.

The bathroom door in their bedroom was closed. Kiran heard the water flowing and guessed that Swati was having a bath. His head was pounding due to the lack of proper sleep. He closed his eyes.

Kiran could not sleep. His mind wandered through uncharted territories in regards to what Vicky saw. He did not want any ill thoughts festering his mind and decided to talk to Swati, for he knew that it was never good to bottle-up emotions and thoughts, particularly the bad ones.

When the bathroom door opened and Swati came out, she seemed very normal. It did not look like she realized how rude she had been the previous night with Ammu.

Swati had draped herself a nice baby blue cotton saree, which was well starched and ironed. The crevasses of the pleats were very sharp and neatly tucked. She looked just like how one would imagine a “professor to be” – so elegant – the very reason why he fell in love with her.

‘Swati, I want to talk to you’

‘About what?’ She shot out innocently.

Kiran was doubtful if she was really naive and did not know what happened the previous evening? Even if she did not know that Vicky saw her with a stranger, holding hands, how could she forget her rude behaviour towards Ammu?

‘About what happened yesterday,’ Kiran started.

‘Oh dear, I’m so sorry. I’m in a hurry. Can we chat in the evening? Please….’

‘Hmmmm….’

‘Moreover, I have asked a couple of my students to come in early today for an additional class, as they had doubts in the lesson. So, I need to go’, Swati said calmly.

‘But, I need to talk’, Kiran said.

‘Anything, in the evening please’, Swati was pleading.

Before Kiran could say anything, Swati dashed out of their bedroom and to the dining.

Ammu was already in the kitchen preparing breakfast for everyone. Lunch for everyone was also almost ready.

‘Good Morning Swati, the idly’s would be ready in a couple of minutes. I have also made fresh coconut chutney’, Ammu told Swati.

‘Oh no, I don’t need any breakfast. I will eat outside’

‘How about lunch? Fresh food is almost ready’

‘That’s ok, I will eat outside’

‘Is everything okay? I’m noticing that you are eating out most of the days’

‘Yeah, yeah. All good. I’m in a rush. I’m leaving now’. Swati rushed past the kitchen door, without giving Ammu a chance to speak further.

Swati behaved as if nothing had happened the previous evening. Her being with a stranger was something that only Vicky and now Kiran knew. But, her rude behaviour with Ammu – how could she just behave as if nothing happened? Kiran was surprised. The more he thought about that the more frustrated and confused he was.

The time was only 7:15 am. Kiran brushed and had a quick shower. He went to the dining room to have his breakfast.

‘Kiran, did Swati say anything at all? What happened?’

‘No Amma! She didn’t say anything. In fact she behaved as if everything was normal. As if nothing happened. She just got ready and left home ‘

‘Maybe she was just upset about something and showed her anger on us. After all whom else can she share her frustration with? If she is fine today, do not talk about what happened yesterday evening with her’

‘Okay Amma’.

‘What’s done cannot be undone and there is no use in you bringing it all up once again. After all, you should understand that she has left her parents and have come over here to live with you. So please be kind to her’

‘Yes Amma’

Kiran thought to himself ‘Poor Amma she doesn’t know all that is happening between us and certainly not what Vicky has witnessed’.

‘What happened? You seem to be in deep thought.’ Ammu snapped Kiran back to reality.

‘Oh no, nothing. Let me get going now.’ Saying that, Kiran took his lunch box and neatly arranged it in the plastic lunch box holder and went outside where he had parked his Yamaha.

‘Bye Amma, see you in the evening’. Kiran kick started his Yamaha and was on his way to his work.

His mind was very foggy. While on the way to his work, at one of the newly formed MNC near Sangeet Theatre, Secunderabad, his mind wandered back to the events of the wedding and, his first night with Swati, as man and wife.

Kiran maneuvered his Yamaha mechanically, as a robot, through the streets of Hyderabad and Secunderabad, the twin cities connected via the Tank Bund, the bridge by the Hussein Sagar lake…

Once Again…???!!! Chapter 4: the Deliberation
to continue…

Once Again…???!!!

Posted on

Once Again…???!!! – Chapter 3: the Erudition – 5

Disclaimer: The characters in this novella are purely fictional. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. 

As it was Swati Kiran’s first night as husband and wife, Tara’s husband Ranga had made an elaborate arrangement at Hotel Viceroy, the latest five-star hotel in Hyderabad.

Hotel Viceroy was located at one corner of the famous Tank Bund looking over the Hussain Sagar Lake, which was once an important water body, providing fresh-water to the twin cities of Hyderabad and Secunderabad. Unfortunately, it was in a pathetic state today smelling like sewage. Even though the lake was polluted from the sewage, the annual immersion of Ganesha and the foul smelling carcasses, the water in the lake was calm and still,

Ranga ensured that Swati Kiran’s suite was facing the calm waters of Hussain Sagar, with the reflection of lights from the different bridges, telling many stories of the historical twin cities.

Tara and Ranga came by to drop Swati and Kiran at the Viceroy. After checking them in, Ranga winked at Kiran and said, “Have a great night!”

Swati and Kiran entered their suite. There was one humungous king size bed, that was covered in light red velvet sheets. Strewn on the bed was the softer jasmine flowers and the pink rose petals. The room had a faint smell of lavender.

Neatly arranged on the dresser table was a pink silk nightie for Swati and a silk dhothi and shirt for Kiran. Seeing the new clothes, Kiran smirked. His inner voice was laughing, thinking about the requirement of the new silk clothes on their wedding night.

“What is the need for these new clothes tonight”, he casually commented and took the new dhothi and entered the bathroom. He hoped that Swati understood the underlying meaning in his comment.

Kiran had a quick shower and changed into the new silk clothes in a jiffy.

Swati went inside the bathroom. Kiran’s heart raced. He wanted to talk to Swati and tell her how much he loved her and how he was envisioning their life together.

He wanted to talk about their future days and nights together. How he wanted them to be the ideal couple, of two bodies and one soul. How they had to work as a team to make their world, the best. How he was willing to accommodate and bend himself like the willow to all her requirements, to ensure a bright and lovely future together.

Kiran’s heart skipped a beat when he heard the bathroom door click. Swati came out. She had not changed her clothes. She was still wearing the silk saree from the evening. Kiran was surprised. Why didn’t she change, his mind questioned. Swati came and sat on one corner of the bed.

Even before Kiran could ask as to why Swati did not change to the nightdress, she said, ‘I’m not mentally prepared for this’

‘That’s ok. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I understood. What are you not mentally prepared for?’ Kiran treaded carefully, as he did not want any mishaps, this first night of theirs.

‘For anything’, came the instant reply from Swati.

‘That’s fine. It’s all absolutely okay. We can take time to understand each other. That is quite okay’

‘I’m not sure when I will be ready’

‘Take your time. There is no rush. We have our entire life ahead. We have to make it, the best’

‘You are so good. Though I’m not ready, if you want to have sex, here you go’.

Swati stood up and faced Kiran. She took the corner of the saree that was neatly placed above her left shoulder and threw it down, showing her torso, clad in a figure-hugging blouse, in the dim light of that room in the Viceroy.

Kiran was in shock. He did not expect this. Ammu has always instilled the best of virtues in him and had taught him how to respect women. His moral instincts very clearly instructed that a woman was not a commodity of fantasy. He believed that even if it were the wife, if a man forced himself on a woman without her full consent, it is constituted as rape. How could Swati think of him so lowly?

Kiran managed to come out of the shock. He lowered himself and took the corner of the saree and placed it back on Swati’s shoulder covering her chest.

‘Swati, how could you think of me so lowly. Sex is a part of life and not the be all and end all of life. Until you are ready and voluntarily invite me, we will not consummate our wedding. I can wait patiently till you are ready’

Swati hugged Kiran so lightly for a quick moment. It felt as if she was sobbing. Kiran was not sure. He did not even know if he should ask anything, anymore that night.

Swati lied down on the bed facing the wall, in the foetal position. Kiran could not see her face. He got up from the bed and sat on the chair in that room in Viceroy. He was wondering as to why Swati behaved the way she did. Did she not agree to this wedding out of her own free will? Was she forced into this? Was it merely the initial fear of a new life? Or, was he just over thinking a simple incident – a denial.

Kiran sat on the chair and looked at the ceiling and the still ceiling fan. They had not switched on the fan as the air conditioning in the room was turned on and was blasting cold air, in the room. As this was a new hotel, it was in perfect, mint condition.

This night certainly did not go the way he expected. His expectations were shattered. He wanted to share his dreams and aspirations with Swati. Alas, here they were in two corners.

With many questions flashing in his mind, Kiran was confused. After that long tiring wedding day, he fell asleep on the chair, without his knowledge. He certainly was unaware of all that which were going to unfold shortly.

And, their wedding was not yet consummated.

END of Chapter 3: the Erudition
Once Again…???!!! to continue…

Once Again…???!!!

Posted on

Once Again…???!!! – Chapter 3: the Erudition – 4

Disclaimer: The characters in this novella are purely fictional. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. 

In the dim green light of the night lamp, Kiran sat on the rocking chair placed at one corner of their bedroom.

Kiran wandered back in time. Among the many that had come to congratulate them on the wedding day was a senior colleague of Swati, Mr. Sharma. Swati introduced him as her friend, a well-wisher and guide. She mentioned that she discussed everything with him before making any decision.

She was planning to start her PhD thesis under the guidance of Mr. Sharma. Kiran shook hands with Mr. Sharma.

“Hello Mr. Sharma, very nice to meet you. Please join us for a picture.”

“Nice meeting you Kiran. It’s okay. No need for any pictures.”

Kiran did not give that comment much thought.

“Please have lunch before you leave” Kiran said

“Of course I will, thank you”

A mosquito landed on Kiran’s cheek and inserted its sharp needle to suck some blood, disturbing Kiran’s thought and bringing him back to this fateful day.

He was questioning himself; if it were this Mr. Sharma that Vicky had seen Swati with today? How could he get it confirmed? There were no pictures. They had not yet received the video that was recorded at the wedding. It would be another couple of weeks before they received the VHS copy of the video.

Then he consoled himself by saying that, it would be fine, if it were the same Mr. Sharma. Mr. Sharma was a respectable gentleman and had a family of his own. Why would he risk his reputation for a woman? Hmmm, but, why were they going to the park, hand in hand as lovers? Veerappan was caught and this has created a mess in the city. When everyone was trying to reach the safety of his or her homes, why should Swati go to the park?

Questions, questions and more unanswered questions. The more he thought the more confused he was. How was he going to broach this with Swati?

He drifted back in time…

Right after the ceremony of the bride and groom exchanging garlands in the swing the head priest was screaming over the top of his voice, so that he could be heard. There was music and chattering of family and friends around.

The priest looked at Kiran and said, “Hold her right hand with your right hand. Do not leave her hands now. You need to keep holding her hand until we go inside and start the next ritual”

Kiran tried to keep his hold on Swati’s hand, intact. While going through the maze of people, his hands slipped and he let go of Swati’s hand. Right at that time Raghavan was asking the priest about the next ritual, the tying of the nuptial knot as the auspicious time was almost there. Kiran’s ears were perked up in that detail and he forgot that he had let go of Swati’s hands.

Swati did not resist…

When they were inside at the wedding dias, the head priest commented, “I told you not to let go of her hands and that’s exactly what you have done”

Kiran bit his tongue, “Oops, sorry” and held Swati’s hand right away.

The wedding ritual continued with the tying of the nuptials followed by walking around the holy fire for 7 times (Saptapadhi) and the stepping on the grinding stone (Ammi). This is an important ritual in the Hindu wedding as this is where the bride and groom take the wedding vows, ‘till death do us part’.

Once the vows are done, Kiran was to put on the toe ring on Swati’s long toe, the toe beside the hallux. The toe ring was too tight and was not fitting Swati’s toe. Though this ring had to be worn on the long toe, he put it on the one beside that, to complete the ritual.

Ammu noticed this struggle. She was wondering as to why they had bought a smaller size of the toe ring for Swati should have been present while buying the toe ring. And, why was there an obvious struggle. She did not like it. However, she did not say anything.

It was now the ritual of seeing the star “Arundhathi”. Kiran laughed when the head priest asked them to see the star during the day. How can one see a star in the day? How foolish was that? He didn’t realize the symbolic importance of that ritual then.

Arundhathi is the wife of the sage Vashistha, one of the seven sages (Saptarshi) who are identified with the Ursa Major constellation. She is identified with the morning star and also with the star Alcor, that forms a double star with Mizar (identified as Vashista Maharishi) in the Ursa Major. Arundhati, though the wife of one of the seven seers, she is accorded the same status as the seven seers and is worshipped with them as such.

The specialty of these two stars (Alcor and Mizar or Arundhathi and Vashistha) is that they revolve around each other. The husband and wife are expected to live such a contended life revolving around each other. How was poor Kiran to know this!

The wedding was a grand occasion with every ritual followed. The lunch served was a huge feast with 15 courses. Kiran and Swati were so tired after all the rituals that they were not able to enjoy the 15-course lunch. They gobbled some lunch so that they had the energy for the next event in the afternoon, called ‘nelangu’, which was to start around 4pm.

Nelangu was the most fun filled event of the entire wedding proceedings. Kiran and Swati had to play some simple games – finding a ring hidden in a bowl of rice; the keys in a pot of water, etc. Then, it was the rolling of coconut, while there were people singing and dancing. The newly weds were also the focus of some double-entendre jokes. Kiran happily immersed himself in all these amusements.

What an exhausting but exciting day it was. Though everyone was tired after the wedding ceremonies since the previous two days, there was smile and jubilation in their face.

As the evening slowly turned to night, Kiran was getting very excited. It was his first night with Swati as man and wife. He had so many things to talk about and of course his mind also pondered about consummating his wedding with Swati.

The very thought was exciting. The dinner for everyone was served at the wedding hall. After dinner, the local family members started leaving to their homes. Finally, it was just the two families and a few friends at the wedding hall.

Oblivious to what was coming, Kiran continued to dream about that nonexistent future.

Once Again…???!!! Chapter 3: the Erudition
to continue…

Once Again…???!!!

Posted on

Once Again…???!!! – Chapter 3: the Erudition – 3

Disclaimer: The characters in this novella are purely fictional. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

SwatiKiran’s wedding had been really grand. Though both Kiran’s and Swati’s families were settled in Hyderabad for over a quarter century they wanted to follow the typical Tamil tradition in this wedding.

The festivities began with the application of henna, a couple of days prior to the wedding, at both the households.

The day before the wedding, on August 1, everyone from Kiran’s family gathered at the Wedding Hall after an early breakfast for the celebrations and various miniature ceremonies that were all a part of the wedding function. Swati’s family was already there in the wedding hall, since that morning. All ceremonies were to begin right away.

A traditional welcome was offered to Kiran’s family at the wedding hall, complete with the music (nadaswaram and melam); trays of fruits, nuts and sweets; and the most important betal leaves, nutmeg, turmeric, kumkum and chandan.

Right after the welcome, both the families indulged individually in the auspicious initiation of the bride and groom for the family life (virudham), by the individually appointed priest. Once the ceremony was completed, it was time for a sumptuous big seven-course lunch.

After lunch everyone (particularly the groom’s side of the family), took a little rest in the rooms pre-allocated. Everyone knew that the evening was going to be busier and all of them had to be on their cheerful self.

Kiran was all excited and just wanted to spend time with Swati. However, he knew that it was not appropriate at this time. Ammu, Raman and family, Tara and family all had a nap in their respective rooms. Coffee was served to their rooms by about 3:30 pm.

While the coffee was served, as the parents of the bride and the ‘host’ of this wedding, Raghavan and Kaveri came by to inquire if the arrangements were fine and if they needed anything at all. They also requested everyone to come by for the evening snacks by 4 pm so that there would be enough time for everyone to get ready for the evening.

The function in the evening was the official welcoming of the groom and family (Maapillai Azhaipu). The evening started with the groom being taken to the nearby temple in a convertible. Kiran enjoyed the ride to the temple. There were four men carrying huge lighted lanterns that walked beside the convertible. Once the main deity in the temple was worshipped, the procession back to the wedding hall began.

Kiran was in the convertible. Vicky, as the best man of this wedding, gave company to Kiran in the car. The ride back was very slow. Behind the convertible there was a convoy of men and women, lead by Tara and Geeta. They were holding all the goodies (fruits, nuts, varieties of Indian sweets, betal leaves, kumkum and chandan) that would be given to the brides’ family at the wedding hall.

Being in Hyderabad, Kiran’s friends wanted to dance for the latest Bollywood music that was played along. Music from Hum Aapke Hai Kaun and Maine Pyar Kiya blasted everyone’s ears. Arun, Vicky’s friend enjoyed being a witness to all the events of this wedding and danced in front of the convertible as if there was no tomorrow and that no one was watching him. There were fireworks and crackers all along the way.

With the song and dance, the procession took about 90 minutes to cover a small distance of under a kilometre. Everyone was involved and enjoyed the Maapillai Azhaipu.

Once inside the wedding hall, it was time for the betrothal, confirming the wedding from both sides of the family. There was no more turning around!

Then, it was the Reception. SwatiKiran’s family decided to have the reception for the family and friends on the evening prior to the wedding, so that those that could not make it for the wedding would still be able to participate. There was a turn out of about 400 for the Reception.

It was a sight of chatter and smile galore. What a joyful occasion it was! Everyone took a picture with the bride and groom. Vicky was there behind his uncle, as the best man, to assist him.

Raman and Raghavan had ensured that all guests were welcomed and guided properly – for a picture and then to the big fifteen-course dinner that was served in the buffet style. The smell of Hyderabadi Dum Biriyani, the ‘chat’ varieties that was available and the ‘double ka meeta’ with ice cream was the talk of everyone. It indeed was a big celebration.

By the time the last of the guests left the wedding hall it was past 11 pm and they all had to be up bright and early at 4 am. Kiran was very tired, but he was excited too.

The monsoon rains were tapering; there still was the occasional thunderstorm every now and then. It was the season of mosquitoes. The big and bold mosquitoes, which sucked human blood, were not bothered by any repellent. The room that Kiran and Vicky were in had a number of mosquitoes. Neither the “good night” tablet nor the “tortoise” mosquito coil had any effect on them. Kiran was trying to keep the mosquitoes away from biting him and was not able to sleep. He was not sure if it were the mosquitoes or the excitement of the following day and the many years to come, which kept him awake.

A swarm of mosquitoes landed on Kiran and started sucking his blood. Their darting needle snapped him to reality. What was Vicky saying?

Kiran was in a daze. He was not listening to Vicky anymore.

“Kiran, where are you? Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” Vicky asked.

“Hmmm?” a long pause.

“Let’s go down Kiran and have something to eat”

Kiran did not say anything. He just followed Vicky, mechanically. Ammu has had the dinner served at the dining table. The aroma of Ammu’s Sambar, potato fry and freshly deep fried pappad was all over the house. Kiran did not smell anything.

Like a robot, Kiran gobbled his food. His eyes were glazed. While serving, Ammu asked, “Are you okay Kiran?”

“Yes Amma, I’m fine”, said Kiran.

“I’m not sure. Are you still thinking about what Swati said to me?”

“Hmmm… Kind of…”. Kiran did not want to reveal what Vicky had mentioned.

“May be Swati was stressed about something. Maybe something happening in her college. That’s why she might have snapped at me. It’s okay. I would have been fine if Tara or Geeta snapped at me. So will it be with Swati too. She is my daughter and I am fine. You should not take these things seriously. Finish your dinner and see if Swati would like to have dinner”

“Okay Amma”, was the mechanical reply.

Finishing dinner Kiran washed his dinner plate and carefully placed it in the drying rack. Then he went to the bedroom to see what Swati was doing.

Swati seemed to be asleep and she did not respond to him, calling her name.

Once Again…???!!! Chapter 3: the Erudition
to continue…

Once Again…???!!!

Posted on

Once Again…???!!! – Chapter 3: the Erudition – 2

Disclaimer: The characters in this novella are purely fictional. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

Kiran returned home at about 5:00 pm. Geeta and Raman were already at home. Swati had not yet returned.

“Kiran, did Swati call you to let you know that she would be late? I am worried given the fact that there is a bit of hullabaloo in the city”, Ammu said.

Kiran did not answer. Going by the fact that everything was closing early that day, why was Swati not yet at home? He tried calling Raghavan’s home to see if she was there. Unfortunately, she was not there either.

Swati sauntered inside at around 6:30 pm. It was almost dark by then.

“Swati ma, we were worried as to what happened as there has been a tense situation in the city. Glad you are back safe and hope all is fine”, Ammu said.

“I’m not a baby. I have been brought up in this city. I know my way”, Swati snapped and went to her bedroom.

Though no one commented, everyone saw a glare in Swati’s eyes. It was very bright and her pupils seemed unusually large. The fire in her eyes could have burnt them all.

Ammu was taken aback. So were Raman and Geeta. Geeta, felt very sad, as Ammu had always been more of a mother to her than a mother-in-law. Ammu was genuinely concerned. Nobody said anything. Vicky’s confusion of the day’s event increased. What was the reason for this behaviour?

Kiran went to the bedroom to see what happened. The bedroom light was switched off. The green night light was turned on. He could see Swati ‘s silhouette on the bed.

“Swati, Swati?”, Kiran whispered quietly.

There was no response. Straining his eyes in the dim green night-light he could see that her eyes were closed. She was breathing evenly. Swati had not changed into her nightie (her home clothes). Kiran was not sure if she was really sleeping, but he decided not to bother her.

He walked out of the bedroom.

His mind replayed the happenings of the past few weeks. It was almost two weeks since their wedding.

The few relatives that they had, had arrived for the wedding almost a week in advance. Since then there has been festivities at home. His sister Tara was also there from Kerala three weeks in advance to help Raman, Geeta and Ammu with wedding preparations that can be very laborious – buying gorgeous sarees, going to family and friends’ homes to invite them for the wedding, buying return gifts for people, based on their proximity to the family and many more. Easy day was filled with excitement and a lot of work to accomplish.

Amidst all the work associated with wedding, Tara wanted to see her soon to be sister-in-law in person. So, Kiran and her called Raghavan’s house and decided to visit them one evening.

Kiran and Tara knocked the door. Raghavan answered with a pleasing smile. “Please come in”

Kaveri joined and welcomed them both. Sunder was also there. Everyone had a cheerful personality. Tara liked the family immediately.

Swati was not there. When Tara inquired about Swati, Kaveri said –

“Oh, she should be here anytime now. We did mention to you that she was going to be helping some of her students this evening”

Tara and Kiran were immersed in the conversation that they did not realize that it was already past 7:30 pm. And Swati was not there yet.

“Does Swati have a pager? May be we can page her to let her know that we are here and see when she would be back.” Tara asked.

“I have already paged her. May be she is stuck in traffic and doesn’t have access to a public telephone booth” Kaveri replied.

“Wouldn’t it be so useful if we are able to have the phone that they are talking about which can be carried anywhere; that which is going to invade and revolutionize the telecom industry? It seems it is already in use in the elite community in the big four Metros”, chipped in Sunder.

“I would like to say yes, but am skeptical about that phone though. How is it even possible to have a phone that is actually not connected anywhere?” Raghavan mentioned.

“Mama, may be it will be an extension of our current cordless phone. But, how could it work anywhere? Hmmm… Technology!” Kiran sighed.

And their conversation continued. In a little while, Tara checked the time and realized that it was past 8 pm. As she could not wait any longer, she politely took leave of Raghavan and Kaveri –

“We have to leave now Mama and Mami. Please let Swati know that we were here and waited quite a while. Also, let us know once she has safely reached home.”

“Of course yes. We will let you know when she is back”, said Raghavan.

After the exchange of the traditional betel leaves and kumkum, Tara and Kiran took leave. They took off in Kiran’s “Yamaha” motorbike.

On their way, Kiran’s pager beeped. There was the message that Swati had returned home safely. As Tara did not want to go back to Swati’s house, as it was already late and they had umpteen things to do, they continued to their home in Koti.

Though Tara was not happy that her soon to be sister-in-law did not show up on time, even though they had not sprung a surprise on her, she did not say anything.

Kiran was brought back to reality when Vicky said, “Kiran, I need to talk to you. Let’s go to the terrace”.

In the terrace Vicky mentioned that he saw Swati with another man, holding hands. Kiran was in a state of shock and was confused. Was this wedding the right thing? Was there anything that he was missing?

He hoped that everything would become fine and that it was all the initial troubles of adjustments, the starting trouble, which is common in any marriage.

Kiran was once again transported back to the wedding events.

Once Again…???!!! Chapter 3: the Erudition
to continue…

Once Again…???!!!

Posted on

Once Again…???!!! – Chapter 3: the Erudition – 1

Disclaimer: The characters in this novella are purely fictional. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

The notorious sandalwood smuggler, a dreaded dacoit, Veerappan was finally caught – this was the headlines for mid-day. Veerappan had terrorized the neighbouring state of Karnataka, the Home for the most expensive, fragrant and medicinal sandalwood trees. There were also rumours that he provided support and refuge to the naxalites, an extremist, rouge faction from the state of Andhra Pradesh. People were still in disbelief that Veerappan was in captive. As expected, there was a conundrum in the city.

Vicky and family were living in Koti area in Hyderabad. Koti is closer to the Muslim dominated old city area and always had the impacts of any infractions. Due to Veerappan being caught, the police expected unrest and the old city and Koti were under extra vigil. All colleges and work places were letting people leave earlier than normal, so that everyone could reach home safe.

Vicky too was returning home from his college. With a bunch of his classmates, he was walking through Bank Street near Mouzamjai Market – his regular route. One of his friends, Arun, nudged him and pointed him to a couple that was entering the park. Vicky saw her holding another man’s hands. Though it was not at close proximity, he could still see very clearly that it was her; he could vouch anywhere that it was her. Vicky was confused by what he witnessed.

Hailing from a family that was a big advocate of women’s liberation and rights he did not want to assume anything. He knew and believed that there could always be a platonic relationship between a man and a woman. There have been many such friendships and relations in their family, running for decades. So holding a hand or a gentle hug was absolutely fine according to him.

However, there was something in their looks that bothered Vicky. There was a longing and a yearning in their look. Vicky brushed it as his imagination. However hard he tried to brush that thought away, he was not able to. His mind questioned – due to the capture of Veerappan and the subsequent unrest in the city, when everyone was trying to reach their home, what was she doing with him in the park? Why should they be going into the park? Who was this stranger?

How much ever he tried to put a name to this strangers’ face he could not. Though the face was familiar, he had no idea as to who he was. His mind was racing. What should Vicky do now? Should he confront her?

“Vicky, should we get some Samosa Ragada at Gokul?”

Arun, Vicky’s best friend snapped him back to reality.

“Are yaar, looks like you are deep in your thought that you didn’t realize that we have reached Gokul Chat Bhandaar. What happened?” Arun asked.

“No, nothing. Everything is fine,” Vicky managed to say.

“So, are we getting a Samosa Ragada?”

“No, I’m good. I will pass it. If you want you can stop over along with the rest of our gang of friends. I will go home”

“That’s okay. I will also pass it for today. Let me give you company to your home and then I will go home”

Arun and Vicky bid adieu to their group of friends and started walking towards the Koti bus stop. Arun asked –

“Are you still thinking about what I showed you?”

“Yes! I am not sure what to make out of it. Something in their look was not right. I wanted to go and confront them. But, was not able to as I didn’t want to spoil any relationships”

“Hey don’t over analyze the incident my friend. Just move on. Maybe it’s nothing. Hey, you are friends with your uncle Kiran. Why don’t you just talk to him?”

“Talk to him and say what? That I saw my aunt with another man, holding hands?”

Arun did not want to proceed with this sensitive subject. He changed the topic and asked Vicky about his girlfriend and moved on to other topics. Soon they reached Vicky’s home. Arun bid goodbye to his friend and started walking towards his home.

With a confused / look, Vicky entered the house. Ammu was in the living room and she asked him, “Did you hear about Veerappan?”

“Yes Grandma. That’s why our college closed early.”

Ammu noticed the confused strange look in Vicky’s face and questioned – “Vicky, is everything fine? You don’t seem to be your normal self”

“Everything is fine Grandma”. Vicky retorted and rushed into his room.

He was pondering. Should he tell his Dad or Kiran about what he saw? Then the liberated ideology came to the forefront. But, what was wrong in holding another persons hands? It could just be a simple gesture of friendship – for he had some great friends that were women. And, they all believed that they were all going no to be friends for life.

Vicky debated on the next course of action.

Once Again…???!!! Chapter 3: the Erudition
to continue…

Once Again…???!!!

Posted on

Once Again…???!!! – Chapter 2: the Genesis – 4

Disclaimer: The characters in this novella are purely fictional. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.

Days flew by. It was finally the wedding day. The fateful August 2nd.

It was really a grand wedding. There were about six hundred people attending the wedding. Kiran’s colleagues, Swati’s colleagues, friends and relatives from both their sides were all present. The function went on well. The match seemed to be the most ideal one. They were neither too plump nor too skinny; neither too short nor too tall. And the name – Swati Kiran was just too pleasant to hear. It flowed like a song. In all ways this was really a great match.

Really marriages are made in Heaven. So thought many.

Kiran introduced Swati to all his friends and colleagues. Swati too introduced him to one and all. Mr. Sharma, Swati’s best friend was there in the marriage. He was there with his wife. He had given Swati a gift cheque for a huge amount of twenty-five thousand rupees.

Ammu was congratulated by everyone for having found a very pleasant, simple and well educated wife for her son. She was looking at her new daughter-in-law with pride gleaming in her eyes. It seemed to her that it was just a few days back that they had met. How fast the time has gone by.

As discussed Raghavan had sent Swati’s photograph the very next day, through Sunder. He had also called Raman to inform him that the date of engagement was April 25.

Ammu was certainly very happy that Kiran was getting married. With this, all her responsibilities as a mother would end. Her kids would all be settled with their own families. Now she could rest a while.

April 25.

The engagement was at 3:30pm and was to be held at Kiran’s house. They had decided that it would be only within the family. They had invited only very close friends. Geeta did not go to her work that day. She had to help Ammu with the preparation of the engagement ceremony. Ammu and Geeta prepared Idly, Sevai and Vada with Sambar and Chutney for everyone who was going to come. They also prepared Laddu’s for sweet that needed to be served. Kiran had bought a couple of big family packs of ice cream to serve everyone that noon. Vicky helped in cleaning the house and decorating it for the function.

At the appointed hour, Raghavan and family along with a few of their friends came. They had brought with them fresh new mangoes – the mango season had just started in Hyderabad.

‘Please come in. We were just waiting for you’, invited Raman.

Kiran had a glimpse of Swati from inside his room. Swati, there was a red dot on her forehead. Her long hair as usual oiled and plaited and with a string of jasmine flowers. She was not wearing heavy ornaments. A simple earring, a simple nose stud, a simple gold chain and two simple bangles on each hand, was all she had on her. She was stunningly beautiful in this simple outfit. That day she was wearing a navy blue silk saree, that had zari spots scattered everywhere, like a million stars scattered in the sky on a new moon night. Kiran remembered the great Tamil poet Subramania Bharathi and his Kannamma.

Swati was looking like the ideal modern woman as described by Bharathi – an intelligent woman with self-confidence, motivation, ambition; yet very simple and humble. He was very happy that he was getting Swati for wife. He gazed at her and he was entranced by her looks.

The priest who was to solemnize the betrothal arrived.

‘Kiran, the priest has come. Are you ready? Shall we start the ceremony?’ Geeta asked.

‘Manni, I am just coming’, replied Kiran.

Kiran and Swati sat opposite each other. The priest uttered the mantras and finally asked Kiran and Swati to exchange their rings. Raman on behalf their deceased father accepted the tray of fruits from Raghavan as a token of acceptance of the engagement. Swati was given a silk saree and a ring, by her soon-to-be in-laws. The date for the marriage was fixed. The Second of August… The priest and all elders consecrated the couple. Pictures were taken.

After this ceremony, hot snacks, prepared by Ammu and Geeta were served. There was jubilance everywhere in the house. Everyone was happy and were enjoying the conversation. At around 8pm Raghavan and family left for their home, though Geeta was insisting that they should have dinner with them. Vikky too was there and he enjoyed the engagement of his favourite uncle.

Vicky was not comfortable about one thing. He noticed that the ebullience found in his uncle’s face was not seen in the face of his new aunt. Was this his imagination? Vikky did not tell this to anyone.

Kiran visited Swati’s house a number of times from then on. He was not able to meet or talk to Swati in most of the occasions. He used to have long chats with Sunder, Raghavan and Kaveri. He liked them all a lot. It never once occurred to him as to why Swati was returning home late most of the days.

One of those days, he had planned to go out with Swati to the then popular Hindi movie, Deewana (Crazy), one evening. He thought it was the best blockbuster romantic movie to be enjoyed with his fiancée (for he himself was crazily in love with Swati). In fact he had booked the tickets in advance. At the last minute, their date was cancelled, as Swati was not feeling well that day. She had a splitting headache.

Days just flew by… And today was August 2nd, the wedding day.

END of Chapter 2
Once Again…???!!! to continue…

Once Again…???!!!